This weekend I told a story to some out of town guests about one of my college friendships and after I thought, what a mistake. The story carried a negative tone, had no redeeming qualities and was so old it had no current relevance. So why did I tell the story?

When I reflect on a moment in my day when I have failed to meet my expectations there are three characteristics that are almost always the best to stop and think about. Self Awareness, Self Motivation and Self Regulation.

1. Self Aware: What a joy to communicate and work with folks who know themselves and how they need to communicate to fit into the team and get work done. When you know yourself your internal voice will guide you to evaluate your stories before they are spoken. This will increase your confidence and influence because when you do speak your words will be cleaner and will carry more depth.

2. Self Motivated: I know it is difficult to stay on top of your to-do list day in and day out but folks who have mastered the skill of staying self motivated are golden to any organization. When my self motivation is depleted it affects my ability to stay on top of my thinking which can inadvertently cause trouble. The goal is not to operate at peak performance but rather find the comfortable place of solid self motivation.

3. Self Regulation: This one is not as familiar to most but once you understand self regulation you will see it as a character trait in your top performers. Self regulation of our thinking is the ability to listen and respond to the deep impulses of our brain, filter the stimulation and then deliver a communication that is effective and powerful regardless of the circumstances.

So why did I tell the meaningless story on the weekend? Simple: I momentarily lacked character in the areas of Self Awareness, Self Motivation, Self Regulation.

Better luck with story time… next time.